firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.
“relations have to be built on trust”
|synonyms:||confidence, belief, faith, certainty, assurance, conviction, credence;
“good relationships are built on trust”
|antonyms:||distrust, mistrust, doubt|
When it comes to trust we are all different. Some trust more than others. Some trust blindly. Some have to have someone “prove they can be trusted.” The way we trust and the amount of trust we give varies. Then after trust is given and you put your trust in someone it can change for the better or worse depending upon the actions of the other party.
As a member
I must have trust in my brothers. As the definition states, if I cannot believe you are reliable, you will speak the truth, you have ability to maintain and keep this relationship going, and you have the strength to fight through the tough times to make this work…there is no trust. There is no relationship because “relations have to be built on trust.” If we can’t have a relationship, if we can’t trust each other, then there is no need for us to be together.
Parents have children that steal from them. Brothers have been stabbed in the back and lied to. Children have been abandoned. People have dealt with unfair and biased law enforcement. Some have been cheated by the government. Others have had bad dealings with businesses and people that they deal with on a daily basis. Many have had bad experiences with churches and religion. As you are reading this right now you are probably picturing someone in your mind. It sticks and we don’t forget. It may have hurt and cut you very deeply. Trust is something we take very seriously.
As a club member we consider each other family. Family is built on relationships. Relationships are built on trust. You, as a person, are shaped by the relationships you have in this life. We go through time together. Whether bad times or good times we hike over the mountain tops or we try to keep our heads above water in the deepest darkest valleys. We argue fuss and fight, and throughout our time together we either build or destroy trust. The way we act, the way we react…the attitudes we exhibit, the character we exude either builds trust or destroys it. If we fail just one time, our trust with each other is damaged. We can’t seem to trust them as much as we did in the beginning. It only takes once to damage that trust, maybe even destroy it. We can’t be too careful. It’s all in how we treat others. It’s all in how truthful our word is. It’s up to us to make sure we can be trusted.
As a leader
Leaders should be held to higher standards. The word of leaders is their bond with those who follow them. If a leader cannot be trusted, then no one will follow him…and they shouldn’t. Every decision you make is filtered down through the tiny holes of trust, honor and truth…and it should be. No one should be asked to blindly follow a leader. Nobody should be required to follow a leader without question, without asking why, without holding that leader accountable. As long as the attitude is right, then the questioning should be welcomed. It doesn’t destroy trust, it builds it. If we do everything with the right reason – for the betterment of the club – then we have nothing to hide. We, as leaders, should be open to criticism and ideas other than our own. That’s building relationships. That is making our chapters stronger. That is building an indestructible club.
Trust is gained or lost by how you react to questions presented to you about those decisions you make. If you become angry every time someone questions you, you cannot be trusted. What are you hiding? Are you showing favoritism? Are you promoting those who deserve it? Are you trying to make the chapter how you want it instead of what the whole body desires? Are you making decisions based on the desires of your favorite members instead of what is best for the chapter or club? That will cause distrust and members will stop following you.
As the leader I have seen it too often. Leaders put themselves in a place where they do not have to be held accountable to anyone and make whatever decisions they want. There are too many members out there who watch every move leaders make. They know there are underlying motives. In a world where “you scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours” runs rampant, it is easy to fall into this trap. This causes distrust. It only takes once. Sure I know we are all human and make mistakes. We all think we know what is best. We sometimes have selfish motives. But even though we are human and do these things, people see it, and many times it causes us to lost trust with that person…whether those leaders deserve it or not.
What We Must Do
I have seen this a many times make or break friendships in clubs. I have seen this make or break clubs as a whole. If you can’t trust each other you cannot function together. If you can’t trust your leadership in your chapter you will not follow them. If you are not trustworthy then your leadership will not help you reach your membership potential. If you can’t trust your club leadership then question them, replace them or leave. There must be a level of trust in order for success.