Posted by on August 27, 2018

CONTROL

“to exercise restraint or direction over; dominate; command”

 

Control is a very strong word.   All “A type” personalities have this carved out of stone and hanging on their walls.  It is amazing when we get it and the world comes to an end when we lose it.  Its why people want to be King.  Many have lost their pride and even lives trying to obtain it.  When the right people have it, it is heavenly and everything turns out great.  When it falls into the hands of the wrong people, life is over for some.  It is complete and utter Hell on earth.

We run the gamut with guys who either love or hate control.  Guys who desire it and guys who want nothing to do with it.  And we have all been in places in life where we have experienced a time of dealing with the good and bad people who are in control.

Why is it such a big deal?  How do we deal with it?  How do we overcome these situations?

ME

 

Very often we are so concerned with the actions of others and what is going on around us, inside our ranks that our focus completely is taken off of us.  We can’t control others.  We can’t control actions, attitudes, what is done, what is said, etc.  We can’t control personality conflicts, the people that we like nor the people we can’t stand.  But what we can control is ME.  I can control me.  I can control what I do and what I say.  I can control how I think and act.  Me.  That is all.

 

I’ll never forget one time I went to a conference and heard an African-American preacher, Tony Evans speak.  Man it was powerful.  I had never thought of this before.  I can’t remember the exact words he used and the illustrations, but I give him credit for the idea and I will adapt it to our situation here.

 

We all in our clubs want a better chapter.  We want to be the best where we are.  In our area.  We want other clubs to know that we are legit.  We want them to know that we are not a “fly by night” group of guys that are just “wanna-be’s”, we are a family.  A group of guys who have something in common and have a common goal or interest.  We want to be known by our community that we do good things.  We raise money for those in need.  We give.  We protect.  We are not the same as those on the other side of the fence who deal and destroy.  It is where we live.  We want that.  We want to be known in our state.  We want people to see us riding in formation and say, “there they are.  I’ve heard of them.”  We want to be recognized.  Its our state.  We don’t claim territory but we feel it is ours.  We want to be the best out there.  We want it to make waves in our club.  We want to be known as the one that is doing things, going places, growing, and building up our club all around the nation.  Even beyond that, we want to show the world how awesome we are.  That’s what makes us attractive.  We want to have legitimacy in the world.  Other nations have clubs.  We desire that reputation of legitimacy among the other clubs around the world.  So…if you want your club known around the world for being that club that is good, does things right, upholds the law, stands for justice…If you want your country to get to know you and recognizes your cut everywhere and knows what it stands for…if you want to ride in your state and have others smile upon seeing you and knowing that what you represent is honor, loyalty and respect…if you want your community to hold you in high regard for the things you do and when they see your patch around town they believe and understand what it signifies…if you want your chapter to be the best, to be the one that sets the bar for the rest of your club…it starts with YOU.  You have to decide to do what is right and just.  Make the right decisions in every situation.  Learn that the bigger you become the more personalities will come into play.  The more patient you will have to become.  The more you will have to understand what family problems will need to be helped and addressed.  The more you will have to love and care.  It all starts with ME.  I am the only person I can control.  But if we are going to move in the right direction and be what our club needs to be, it’s going to have to start with me.

CHAPTERS

I have dealt with so many different chapters in pretty much all of the states in the U.S. and chapters overseas.  But most of all I have dealt with mine and the ones in my state.  For a few years we were the only chapter in our club in our state.  Then we add another, then another.  When we were small starting out we had zero problems.  None.  We were so overcome with enthusiasm and excitement that there was no room in any of our lives for drama or problems.  Then there were two chapters.  Then three.  Then four.  What now?  Chapters are run by different guys with different views of their direction, in different areas of the state.  Their chapters were made up of different personalities than I had with different mood swings with different wives and kids.

It became different.

But we all got along.  That was our goal and determination from the beginning.  No drama.  We would not have it or put up with it.  If something came along and there was a disagreement or a conflict of some kind we met immediately and squashed it.  Then we all slapped leather and called each other brother.  That part never changed.

But in other states, that was not the case.

We had men who were the “first” in their state to start their chapters up.  They believed they were the top dogs.  They believed they were the runs whom everyone else in the state answered to.  They believed that they “ran” their chapters in their states.  Yes, that was stated to me over the phone one day.  My response was “you what?”  which was quickly followed by “Sorry bro.  We don’t run things like that here.”  “Apparently you don’t know how we run this state.  We have done this since the beginning.” “Apparently I don’t know how you run your state.  But I do know what our By-Laws state and you are not following them.”   And then we had another state who had patched over multiple chapters to our club at one time.  They brought their problems with them.  One chapter was bigger than the others and wanted control over the others.  They flung their weight around at Presidents meetings and events.  Neither one of these situations were healthy to our club.  They both were detrimental to our club and ended up with several good guys leaving the club for various reasons.

 

Pride.  Control.  Power.

If your focus is on one of these three things, then your focus is not on the good of the club as a whole.  That should be your ultimate goal.  Every decision you make for yourself, for your chapter, should have an ultimate end of the “good of the club.”  If every chapter thought that way, then chapters would be more healthy and the club would become more healthy.

So what means more to you?  Yourself? or the Club?  Are you a control freak?  Or do you serve under one?  It happens all the time and it’s a cancer that we all have to live with.  It’s killing clubs slowly around the world.  There is a cure.  But we have to change our minds and attitudes to receive it.  Healing starts with you.  It starts with me.

 

BROfessor Out

 

 

Posted in: All Things MC, Random

Comments

  1. Porker
    August 27, 2018

    Leave a Reply

    Very awesome read my brother. 💯 agree

  2. Chief
    August 27, 2018

    Leave a Reply

    Great words we have lived some of those things you mentioned in your post in our state as you know. I have always strived to make our chapter the best it could be
    Much love and respect for you my Brother.
    Chief
    ILLINOIS NORTH
    NSAA

  3. Mark aka THE KAUF msaa chapter Holland
    August 27, 2018

    Leave a Reply

    So treu, i wil make sure our whole chapter reads this. Thanks for sharing this brother!!

  4. Beemer
    August 27, 2018

    Leave a Reply

    Brother I control me and I am in service to my chapter and brothers. Having spent time with brothers from all over Europe and al little overseas. I feel that I can’t be great full anove and work anove to show my respect and love to this brotherhood. Not one day go by that I feel and see what a great club this is. Proud yes, but here to serve. Thanks for the hard work and respect and love Brothers.

  5. André MAMMOTH
    August 27, 2018

    Leave a Reply

    My dear brother, your words sum up well the problems that happen every day in America, in Brazil, and I’m sure, anywhere … We are men, hardened many times by the profession, and we do not always have the necessary patience to deal with the weaknesses and lack of experience that some brothers bring with them into the Club.
    We have, as you say, that dealing with ourselfs even to seek serenity to help our brothers to always focus first and foremost on the Club, our harmony, and brotherhood.
    I always learn from you, having you as a brother is an honor and privilege. PFL ♠ PFFP

    • thebrofessor
      August 28, 2018

      Leave a Reply

      My Wooly! I am glad to see that this problem not only exists in the U.S. but all over the world. It is hard to see past ourselves and put others first. You were a true example of this in my visit to Brazil. You are a good and honorable man. A true brother. Thank you for your reply.

  6. JoShua
    August 27, 2018

    Leave a Reply

    No one could speach better!
    Chiwawa will follow it! 🙂
    JoShua
    Nomads Italy

  7. Hump
    August 27, 2018

    Leave a Reply

    As always brother, well stated. Love ya bro.

  8. Maurizio Montanari
    August 27, 2018

    Leave a Reply

    Bellissimo articolo, grazie
    beautiful words, great teaching, thanks

  9. Giuseppe Cirillo
    August 27, 2018

    Leave a Reply

    There are two notions, not really well taken around, I always consider relevant in my personal improvements and they are about the “control thru influence” and “active listening”. Being able to manage conflicts and ambiguities is primarily an attitude but also something that can be formed up thru training and dedicated sessions. It’s often unbelievable how an influencer can convince a group of people that they have to act on something because they need it but what they need is actually what the influencer wants to get.
    Linked with this there is the active listening which is not about just listening but understanding what are really triggering certain emotions in our interlocutors. By experience , dip emotions are rarely spoken out and conversations are often derailed without getting the point of the argument.
    Try to practice on day to day life and ask yourself not what someone is telling you but why.
    Just food for thought ……
    Shark
    Italy VP

  10. Giuseppe
    August 27, 2018

    Leave a Reply

    There are two notions, not really well taken around, I always consider relevant in my personal improvements and they are about the “control thru influence” and “active listening”. Being able to manage conflicts and ambiguities is primarily an attitude but also something that can be formed up thru training and dedicated sessions. It’s often unbelievable how an influencer can convince a group of people that they have to act on something because they need it but what they need is actually what the influencer wants to get.
    Linked with this there is the active listening which is not about just listening but understanding what are really triggering certain emotions in our interlocutors. By experience , dip emotions are rarely spoken out and conversations are often derailed without getting the point of the argument.
    Try to practice on day to day life and ask yourself not what someone is telling you but why.
    Just food for thought ……
    Shark
    Italy VP

    • thebrofessor
      August 28, 2018

      Leave a Reply

      I have grown to admire and love you my brother. Your wisdom for everyone should really be shared more. I love your take on this and your support for this topic. You are truly a great example and leader and I have the utmost respect for you.

  11. Chrome, mile high msaa
    August 27, 2018

    Leave a Reply

    Thank you brother. Often we loose site of the ultimate goal, to see our club grow and prosper. We are in a area of bad reputations and wrong doings. We need to be the light that people see and feel safe. We are the good guys and we best not loose site of that goal. Yes we are all individual chapters but we are one club, and that needs to be remembered.
    Thankyou for reminding us

    • thebrofessor
      August 28, 2018

      Leave a Reply

      You speak true words brother. There are many who have gone before us who have set a very low standard with bad reputations. We must do whatever we can to make sure we are an example of what is right and true.

  12. Wingman
    August 28, 2018

    Leave a Reply

    Follow the Bylaws and Operating Policy and it’s pretty easy. Wake up in the morning, go to work (or not), contact your brothers, get on the bike, and ride like you love it!

    • thebrofessor
      August 28, 2018

      Leave a Reply

      Simple and true for some. Its hard to get the love for power out of people. Not even riding can drag it out of them. Its just that some people you give them a cut and a title and it goes straight to their head. But your guidance is clear and simple. Just hard to live by for some.

  13. Yamil Chapo
    August 29, 2018

    Leave a Reply

    My brother I couldn’t agree more with you very well said, some times we look at others before we look to our selfs and fix what’s wrong with us much love.

    • thebrofessor
      August 29, 2018

      Leave a Reply

      Thank you brother for taking time to read my random thoughts. They come from the heart and something I deal with every day. This helps me to release some tension and stress. I appreciate your kind words.

  14. Pistol
    September 4, 2018

    Leave a Reply

    Brother that was a very insightful and great read. We are going through some things right now in our chapter that are a result of growing and expanding very quickly. I think that we are coming through it and will be stronger than ever. Look forward to reading the next one.
    ML&R
    Pistol Ridgerunner VP

    • thebrofessor
      September 4, 2018

      Leave a Reply

      Thank you for your input brother. We all go through mountains and valleys. Its our attitudes and actions that during these times that will decide our outcome and ultimately our fate. I am very glad to hear of these good things in your chapter! Much Love and Respect!

Leave a Reply


You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <s> <strike> <strong>

*